To my community,

There is a standing joke amongst parents: “there is no manual.”

We say this line to ourselves when our children test our patience, challenge us in unexpected ways, or when we somehow end up in a situation and have no idea what to do. Sometimes it is a lighthearted, partially true joke. Other times, it is said in much more serious moments.

But if there was a manual, what would it say?

I would hope there would be a section dedicated to achieving happiness. Another might be about independence. There would probably be parts about health, taking risks, but not too many risks, and likely a whole section on being kind.

Personally, my favourite section, the one I would write if the authors of this manual were to tap me on the shoulder, would be the section on making good decisions.

Who does not want their kids to make good decisions?

I would hope every parent guides their children toward better decision making. I am sure many do, or at least try their best. Some people may have never really stopped to think about it directly. I think about it constantly.

But what makes a good decision?

What makes a bad decision?

People can usually tell, at least when it is obvious.

“That was a bad decision.”

Parents know this feeling. Sometimes we know long before the consequences arrive. We can feel it in our bones.

But do we ever stop to think about how?

Do you ever think about how decisions get made? What leads some decisions to be good or bad? What makes one decision better than another?

Is a fast decision better than a slow one?

Is an informed decision better than an uninformed one?

Is a biased decision worse than an unbiased one?

Is a decision founded in principles better than one based on exceptions?

Is a strategic decision better than a tactical one?

Is a calculated decision better than an emotional one?

Is a transparent decision better than an opaque one?

Is a cheap decision better than an expensive one?

These questions matter because the art and science of how we make decisions directly influences almost everything that happens in society.

It influences how families are raised. How teams work. How companies grow. How schools are run. How public money is spent. How leaders earn trust, or lose it. How communities heal, or drift apart.

And yet, we often spend far more time arguing about the final decision than we spend examining the process that created it.

We ask, “Do I agree with the outcome?”

But maybe we should also ask, “Was the process fair?”

We ask, “Did my side win?”

But maybe we should also ask, “Were the right people heard?”

We ask, “Was this decision popular?”

But maybe we should also ask, “Was it honest, informed, and principled?”

A good decision is not always the one that gives us exactly what we want. Sometimes a good decision disappoints us. Sometimes it asks something difficult of us. Sometimes it costs more in the short term because it protects something more important in the long term.

And a bad decision is not always obvious right away. Sometimes a bad decision gets lucky. Sometimes it produces a decent result by accident. Sometimes it feels good in the moment, but quietly creates problems for the future.

That is why the process matters.

Good decisions usually come from good habits. Listening carefully. Asking hard questions. Being honest about tradeoffs. Seeking out information, especially information that challenges what we already believe. Understanding who will be affected. Taking responsibility for the outcome. Being willing to change course when the facts change.

Bad decisions often come from the opposite. Ego. Fear. Laziness. Groupthink. Shortcuts. Hidden motives. Refusing to listen. Pretending there are no tradeoffs. Making choices in the dark and then asking people to simply trust that everything was handled properly.

We should expect better from ourselves.

We should expect better from our families, our workplaces, our institutions, and our leaders.

This does not mean every decision needs to be slow. It does not mean every choice needs a committee, a report, or a six-month study. Some decisions should be made quickly. Some are small enough that speed matters more than perfection.

But the bigger the decision, the more people it affects, and the longer its consequences will last, the more care the process deserves.

A city is, in many ways, a collection of decisions.

Where do we build? What do we protect? What do we fund? What do we ignore? Who gets heard? Who gets left out? What problems do we solve now? What problems do we pass on to our children?

These are not abstract questions. They become roads, homes, parks, taxes, services, opportunities, frustrations, and trust.

And trust is important.

People do not need to agree on everything to trust each other. They do not need to share the same politics, priorities, or background. But trust becomes possible when people can see that decisions are being made with care, honesty, fairness, and humility.

That is what I want for my children.

That is what I want for my city.

Not perfection. Perfection is not available to us.

But better.

Better questions. Better listening. Better tradeoffs. Better transparency. Better courage. Better humility. Better decisions.

So I humbly ask you to take a moment and reflect.

Reflect on your own decision-making framework. Reflect on how your family makes decisions. How your team makes decisions. How your company makes decisions. How your politicians and leaders make decisions.

Are the right people being heard?

Are the facts being gathered?

Are the tradeoffs being named honestly?

Are principles guiding the process, or are we just reacting to pressure?

Are we thinking only about today, or are we thinking about the people who will live with the consequences tomorrow?

Most likely, there is room to improve. There almost always is.

And that should not discourage us. It should motivate us.

Because better decisions are not only made by better leaders. They are made by better citizens, better neighbours, better parents, better friends, and better communities.

A better city begins with better decisions.

And better decisions begin with all of us deciding that the way we decide matters.